Albee Thayer, November 7, 1958 (New York, N.Y.) -
VP candidate for Independent (2012)
Running mate with nominee: Ahmnodt Heare (b. 1973)
Popular vote: 0 (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538
The campaign:
The fictitious Ahmnodt Heare was making his second run for the Presidency in 2012. On Sept. 27, 2011 he announced the selection of the equally fictitious Albee Thayer as his VP. Their campaign slogan: "Heare and Thayer."
Thayer contributed the following post on the campaign's webpage, Jan. 12, 2012--
A Word From the Running Mate
My Fellow Americans,
My name is Albee Thayer. I am honored to have been tapped by Ahmnodt Heare to be his running mate. (By “tapped” I mean “chosen” not “tapped like a stick to a maple tree for syrup. I haven’t had the time to introduce myself because I have been busy on my ranch and campaigning here in the Abilene, TX area.
I was born in New York City on November 7, 1958 and grew up in the suburbs. My father was a junior vice-president at a Wall Street firm and my mother was a history teacher. They instilled a tough work ethic in me. I graduated high school a year early and received my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from the Abilene Christian University in only three years. I later earned my MBA degree in Executive Management at the University of Texas.
I run a 80-acre ranch in the outskirts of Abilene with hundreds of steer and antelope roaming the ranch. I shared the ranch with my wife Beatrice and our son Tyler until they were killed by a drunk driver in 1998. I never remarried as I kept busy growing the ranch and trying other business ventures.
A Republican by trade, I became disenfranchised with the party and left in 2002 when they continued the spending the Democrats started. After taking a look at other parties and even trying to start my own party (If you ever heard of the “Checkbook Party” about 10 years ago, that was the party I started.
I am proud to say that I voted for Ahmnodt Heare in 2008. He doesn’t know this yet, but I wrote my name in for vice-president because i thought holding both offices is too much for anybody, even Ahmnodt. My interest in him and his campaign started with his fight against the Cinemafia. I have had a similar fight with the sports mafia. I would sometimes make the drive to the Dallas – Fort Worth area to see the Cowboys and the Stars. I became outraged by the ever-increasing prices to see the game as well as food and beer (which is way more expensive than at a bar or church and is watered down.) At least the Cinemafia doesn’t charge for parking. It was $20 the last time I went to Texas Stadium in 2007.
Ahmnodt will be back tomorrow. He is currently traveling through New Hampshire campaigning in small towns near the border with Canada. He will be back tomorrow with updates from the trail. If you have any questions about me, feel free to ask them in the comments section below.
Sincerely,
Albee Thayer
Independent Write-In Candidate for Vice President
Thayer was slated to continue as Heare's running-mate for the 2016 election, but decided to bow out in Dec. 2012, as described by Heare--
I have received an e-mail from my 2012 running mate Albeeee Thayer today saying that he would be unable to run as my running mate. He wants to expand his business and campaigning would take time away from that. He did wish me well and said he would continue to campaign for me when he has the time. He also wanted to send a note for anybody in the Abilene, TX area that he will host future “Orgies for Abstinence” rallies in his home starting with the next one on April 5, 2013.
Election history: none
Other occupations: rancher
Notes:
The 2008 webpage is copyrighted by comedian Michael P. Weinheimer.
