Peapod the Pocket Squirrel (Spirit)

 

Peapod the Pocket Squirrel (Spirit)

VP candidate for Independent (2016)

Running mate with nominee: Robert Norman Ross (1942-1995) (Spirit)
Popular vote: 0 (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538

The campaign:

Bob Ross, the iconic laid back artist who provided painting lessons on television, filed with the FEC as a member the Communist Party for President on Dec. 22, 2015 with a mailing address in Muncie, Ind. which was indeed the city where his show had been taped for a time. Oh, one important detail to include, Ross had been dead since 1995. The FEC filing was but one of many dozens of decentralized efforts to start a "Bob Ross for President" movement.

Ross' program on PBS, The Joy of Painting (1983-1994) had a rather sedative impact on many viewers. He was very close-mouthed about his private life and had an apolitical image. I recall watching him a few seconds at a time and moving on while I was channel surfing in the 1980s. Captivating he was not, but my lack of interest and perception was my loss I suppose.

Attempting to define his current appeal as a celebrity and Internet meme-- a Mr. Rogers with a paintbrush-- is something I'll leave to popular culture experts. He is certainly more famous now than when he was living. The Ross for President merchandising wave has become a popular commercial industry in the last couple election cycles.

If I had actually stopped to watch Ross for any length of time I might have discovered that he included a virtual menagerie of animals as his co-hosts as he painted landscapes. The most famous of these little buddies was Peapod the Pocket Squirrel who had appeared in the first half of the 1980s.

Although Peapod has passed on, probably before Ross himself died, the artist was a bit circumspect when asked about the fate of his most popular co-host: "Everywhere I go now, people ask me about Peapod the pocket squirrel. You saw him in some of the earlier series, and Peapod, I think I might have mentioned before, he’s grown up and we’ve turned him loose and he’s got his own family now, a little condo in Miami, BMW, car payments every month — same thing we all have, except I don’t have a BMW."

One of the many Bob Ross paraphernalia mongers was a small entity called Happy Little Country, named after one of the artist's catchphrases, e.g. "happy little trees." Their Bob Ross 2016 Facebook page, created Sept. 1, 2016, included this introduction which sums up what others have written concerning the appeal of Ross in Century 21--

About
Happy Little Country exists to paint a better world through levity and kicky design. We create products intended to lighten your existential load.

Additional Information
Happy Little Country is a response to a culture of American acrimony, particularly in an election year that’s turned out to be, well, shall we say, not so happy. Happy Little Country aims to send positive vibes into our culture.

Happy Little Country pays homage to the late, great Bob Ross. There was something in the demeanor of this guru of tranquility that calmed people. He made them feel safe and believed in. We wondered how such a thing could be when the iconic painter never even met most of the people he encouraged week after week via giant televisions in living rooms all across the country. Our conclusion: the dude believed in the goodness of life and others.

At Happy Little County we believe what America needs most are more people like ol’ Saint Bob—people who care about the world and the people who people it, people who believe in the goodness of one another despite their differences. We’re convinced that the man was on to something. We all long for a happy little place, so we decided, à la Bob, to simply create it.

So join the movement! Get your "Campaign" gear here! And Support Bob Ross 2016!!!

Unlike the other Bob Ross retailers, Happy Little Country assigned a running-mate to the ticket-- Peapod the Pocket Squirrel. Peapod's elevation as nominee was announced Oct. 4, 2016.

Needless to say, the reality that both of the individuals on the ticket had been deceased for over a couple decades would have been problematic in the event of their victory on Election Day.

Bob Ross and Peapod merchandise lives on as interest in the artist's life and career continues to rise. Three books about them authored by Robb Pearlman have been published in recent years. Also available are toys of Ross and Peapod.

Election history: none

Other occupations: squirrel

Buried: ?

Notes:
I discovered something I have in common with Bob Ross other than a love for animals. He had a walnut tree in his backyard, as I do now, which he basically surrendered to the neighborhood squirrels, also as I do now.

Crawling Chaos

 

Crawling Chaos, November 1920 -

VP candidate for Independent (aka Elder Party aka Communist Party aka Great Old One Party) (2016, 2020)

Running mate with nominee (2016, 2020): Cthulhu (b. 1928)
Popular vote (2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2016, 2020):

H.P. Lovecraft (1890-1937), author of supernatural horror, created a character named Cthulhu who was described as "A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind." I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole of Lovecraft esoterica, but suffice to say Cthulhu is not a nice guy.

There have been numerous attempts by a variety of sources to elect Cthulhu to the office of President or head of state, not just in the USA but in other countries, ever since at least 1996. Some of the campaign slogans to emerge from these efforts revealed a humor of despair as well as Cthulhu's character--

Vote for the Greatest Evil - Why Vote for a Lesser Evil? - Cthulhu, Because it Can't Get Any Worse - Because No Lives Matter - Don't Settle for the Lesser of Two Evils, Vote for the Greatest - The aliens you should be worried about will not be stopped by a wall - Embrace the Madness - Keep Blaming the Poor - A Thousand Points of Fright - Cthulhu Wants You... as Food - I Want You... for Breakfast - America Needs a REAL Monster  - Eat the Rich and Everyone Else - After you are eaten your effective tax rate will be zero - Equality through Insanity - I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment - Keep climate changing - Legalize human sacrifice - No More Years - Vote for Cthulhu... and you'll never have to vote again - Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

On Sept. 15, 2015 Dr. ourlordandsavior Cthulu of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. filed with the FEC as a Presidential candidate running as a member of the Communist Party.

Naturally the Cthulhu campaigns have been a merchandising bonanza.

Cthulhu had at least two running-mates: Dagon, and, Crawling Chaos.

On Aug. 20, 2016, the Cthulhu for America website introduced the Vice-Presidential nominee--

8 things you need to know about the Crawling Chaos, your next vice president
The Crawling Chaos' experience at spreading delirium and horror makes him uniquely qualified to help craft an apocalypse that works for everyone and professionally send American families to oblivion.

Meet Cthulhu’s running mate.

Cthulhu just picked the Crawling Chaos (also known as Nyarlathotep) to be his running mate!

While he has a thousand names and forms, his core issues of madness and destruction have always been consistent.

Let’s get to know him:

The Crawling Chaos is a lifelong fighter for madness and the most qualified vice presidential candidate in our nation’s history. He’s also a being of relentless ruthlessness who believes no problem is unsolvable if you’re willing to put in the work. That commitment to delivering results has stayed with him throughout his eternal career as a public servant.

Cthulhu chose a running mate who will be a real enforcer and help unite our country in insanity. The Crawling Chaos’ experience at spreading delirium and horror makes him uniquely qualified to help craft an apocalypse that works for everyone and professionally send American families to oblivion.

Here are eight things you should know about Cthulhu’s new running mate—and our next vice president:

    1. Before he got into politics, the Crawling Chaos spent time working with missionaries on Klaggesh-Tlagheis.
    Nyarlathotep started his public-service career by taking a century off to run an entropy vortex founded by devotees of Azathoth on Klaggesh-Tlagheis. He’s described his time on Klaggesh-Tlagheis as formative in his commitment to public service, his understanding of religion as a useful tool, and the effectiveness of spreading madness to destroy a civilization from within.
    2. He is a strong fighter for religious liberty.
    The Crawling Chaos spent over 30 years representing the Church of Starry Wisdom in Providence, Rhode Island. Religious discrimination against the sect was so venomous that the church was forced to disband when 181 congregants were murdered by religious extremists. He continues the fight as each new chapter of the Church of Starry Wisdom opens worldwide.
    3. The Crawling Chaos champions non-traditional education.
    Nyarlathotep understands that teaching the test with common core is an utter failure. Children must be engaged at an early age with exposure to the writings of Alhazred, von Junzt and Eibon. Adult education through the practical application of non-Euclidean calculus and quantum physics has also been high on his list of priorities.
    4. He believes in the empowerment of women
    The Crawling Chaos fought for women’s empowerment in the American colonies in the 1600s and long before that worldwide. He has consistently worked to raise women up through education in hyper-advanced STEM fields and alternative religious studies as society has sought to burn them at the stake.
    5. The Crawling Chaos is a vocal advocate for mental health.
    No one is more familiar with the proper methods of exposing a mortal mind to the endless stygian vistas of the universe than Nyarlathotep. He has worked tirelessly to open minds blind to the true reality of existence.
    6. He believes in super-science
    The Crawling Chaos has always stood by the side of the great thinkers of the cosmos spurring their inventiveness ever onward and upward. The universe is littered with the results of his inspiration and support.
    7. No one understands the Middle East better
    Nyarlathotep, as his name suggests, was once known as the Black Pharaoh. As a former ruler of Egypt he has direct experience with the people of the region and will be a great asset when American forces absorb the Middle East into our more prefect union.
    8. The Crawling Chaos supports the arts
    Some say that the blues was created by his guise as the Royal Pant – a charge he will gladly accept. Many a successful musician’s (albeit short) career was made possible by his smart, focused patronage. He looks forward to applying this practical knowledge nationwide to assist every small business owner find success.

The Crawling Chaos has spent eternity spreading madness not mediocrity, and that’s exactly the choice we face in this election.
 
Lovecraft described Crawling Chaos aka Nyarlathotep as one of the "Outer Gods" and a "tall, swarthy man." In a letter to a friend he added, "Don't fail to see Nyarlathotep if he comes to Providence. He is horrible—horrible beyond anything you can imagine—but wonderful. He haunts one for hours afterwards. I am still shuddering at what he showed."

As an aside, the FEC received a form dated Oct. 19, 2015 from The Crawling Chaos Nyarlathotep, address: "666 court of the outer gods, Kadath, MI" as a Communist Party candidate for President. His campaign committee was "Church of Starry Wisdom, 72 Miskatonic, Arkham, MA." So he joins that small group of VPs who were also running for President in the same election.

It would be safe to say there would have been some problems regarding the Constitution in the event of a Cthulhu/Crawling Chaos victory.

Election history:
2016 - US President (Communist Party) - defeated

Other occupations: fictitious character

Notes:
In my younger years my circle of friends included avid readers of Lovecraft, Tolkien, and Le Guin, but I was more interested in Vonnegut, Kesey, and Brautigan. Later I had the experience of attending a Vonnegut lecture and in 1987 or so actually met and conversed with Kesey in Tacoma at a library gig. But I am not very up on Lovecraft trivia so apologies to his fans for my superficial coverage.
When you type the query Crawling Chaos for President (without quotes) in Google, most of the results give you information about Trump.

Dagon

 

Dagon, July 1917 (Pacific Ocean) -

VP candidate for Independent (aka Elder Party aka Communist Party aka Great Old One Party) (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020)

Running mate with nominee (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): Cthulhu (b. 1928)
Popular vote (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020):

H.P. Lovecraft (1890-1937), author of supernatural horror, created a character named Cthulhu who was described as "A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind." I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole of Lovecraft esoterica, but suffice to say Cthulhu is not a nice guy.

There have been numerous attempts by a variety of sources to elect Cthulhu to the office of President or head of state, not just in the USA but in other countries, ever since at least 1996. Some of the campaign slogans to emerge from these efforts revealed a humor of despair as well as Cthulhu's character--

Vote for the Greatest Evil - Why Vote for a Lesser Evil? - Cthulhu, Because it Can't Get Any Worse - Because No Lives Matter - Don't Settle for the Lesser of Two Evils, Vote for the Greatest - The aliens you should be worried about will not be stopped by a wall - Embrace the Madness - Keep Blaming the Poor - A Thousand Points of Fright - Cthulhu Wants You... as Food - I Want You... for Breakfast - America Needs a REAL Monster  - Eat the Rich and Everyone Else - After you are eaten your effective tax rate will be zero - Equality through Insanity - I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment - Keep climate changing - Legalize human sacrifice - No More Years - Vote for Cthulhu... and you'll never have to vote again - Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

On Sept. 15, 2015 Dr. ourlordandsavior Cthulu of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. filed with the FEC as a Presidential candidate running as a member of the Communist Party.

Naturally the Cthulhu campaigns have been a merchandising bonanza.

Cthulhu had at least two running-mates: Dagon, and, Crawling Chaos. Dagon was a character that predated Cthulhu, a horrendous creature in the Pacific Ocean described thus by Lovecraft--

    With only a slight churning to mark its rise to the surface, the thing slid into view above the dark waters. Vast, Polyphemus-like, and loathsome, it darted like a stupendous monster of nightmares to the monolith, about which it flung its gigantic scaly arms, the while it bowed its hideous head and gave vent to certain measured sounds.

It would be safe to say there would have been some problems regarding the Constitution in the event of a Cthulhu/Dagon victory.

Election history: none

Other occupations: fictitious character

Notes:
Not the same Dagon as the Mesopotamian deity.

Benjamin Gitlow

Benjamin Gitlow, December 22, 1891 (Elizabethport, NJ) – July 19, 1965 (Crompond, NY)

VP candidate for Workers Party of America (aka Communist Party) (1924)
VP candidate for Workers (Communist) Party (aka Communist Party) (1928)

Running mate with nominee (1924, 1928): William Z. Foster (1881-1961)
Popular vote (1924): 38,669 (0.13%)
Popular vote (1928): 48,551 (0.13%)
Electoral vote (1924): 0/531
Electoral vote (1928): 0/531

The campaign (1924):

Lenin had died in January 1924 and the American Communists were already starting to divide over the events in the Soviet Union. Meanwhile, efforts to form a bloc with the Farmer-Labor Party had failed. And to top things off, Moscow had sent a Hungarian Communist named József Pogány aka John Pepper, to "manage" the Party but in reality all his efforts merely created more division. In this atmosphere the Workers Party of America nominated William Z. Foster and Benjamin Gitlow, representatives of two rival factions.

The campaign took place between Gitlow's two stints in prison 1920-1922 and 1925.

On the ballot in 15 states, their best showing was in Minnesota (0.54%)

The campaign (1928):

The Workers (Communist) Party inner strife continued to reflect the political power struggle taking place in the Soviet Union, including taking sides as either pro-Stalin or pro-Trotsky wings after the latter was expelled and exiled. In addition there was the good old fashioned American pattern of internecine warfare so prevalent in third parties. Once again Foster and Gitlow, by now more mortal enemies than ever, were on the same ticket.

With recorded votes in 35 states they placed fourth. The only state where they finished above 1% was Florida with 1.46% and most of those votes came from Alachua County which is something of a mystery.

Election history:
1917-1918 - New York State Assembly (Socialist Party of America)
1918 - New York State Assembly (Socialist Party of America) - Defeated
1921 - Mayor of New York City (Workers League) - Defeated
1926 - Governor of New York (Workers Party of America) - Defeated

Other occupations: retail clerk, garment cutter, journalist

Buried: ?

Notes:
His opponents for the 1926 Governor of NY election included Al Smith and his 1928 VP competitor
 Jeremiah D. Crowley of the Socialist Labor Party.
His parent were Jewish Russian immigrants in the late 1880s.
Joined the Socialist Party of America 1909, joined the Communists 1919.
Worked closely with John Reed.
Served in prison 1920-1922, 1925 charged with advocating "criminal anarchy."
Was arrested at the 1922 Bridgman Convention along with Caleb Harrison (who had been the
 Socialist Labor Party VP candidate in 1916)
Was expelled from the Communist Party in 1929 during a purge of "Right Oppositions" and then
 joined the misnamed Communist Party (Majority Group) aka Lovestoneites. Formed his owned
 Right-wing Communist party, the Workers Communist League aka Gitlowites in 1933.
Briefly rejoined the Socialists in 1934 and then became a very public outspoken conservative anti-
 Communist in the late 1930s.
Was associated with anti-Communist (and later disgraced over sex scandal charges) Rev. James
 Hargis.
The 1924 and 1928 campaigns showed us that charges of Russian meddling in American elections
 plus questionable votes from Florida have a history.