Herbert Butros Khaury

 Paulsen, Miss Vicki, Tiny Tim, 1970

Herbert Butros Khaury, April 12, 1932 (New York, NY) – November 30, 1996 (Minneapolis, Minn.)

VP candidate for Straight Talking American Government Party (aka STAG Party) (1992)

Running mate with nominee: Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)
Popular vote: ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538

The campaign:

Perennial candidate/comedian Pat Paulsen told a reporter in Jan. 1992 he had an "A" list for running-mates: Abraham Lincoln (to help him write speeches), Marilyn Monroe (because he would have someone to sing "Happy Birthday" to him), Elvis Presley (because 1 in 5 Americans thought he was still alive and if Paulsen could register those "morons" he'd win), and Herbert Butros Khaury better known as Tiny Tim (because Paulsen would always have an opening act while on the road in 1992).

In April Paulsen offered a teaser to the press, "I've been thinking strongly about Tiny Tim, because I like the way he sings and he could maybe introduce me with a patriotic song." In June, Tiny Tim (the only person on Paulsen's "A" list who wasn't dead) announced he was the VP nominee and did, in fact, go on the road with Paulsen. Both of them were entertainment figures who had experienced their career peak in the late 1960s and were starting to see a small comeback on the small venue circuit.

Paulsen was pure Paulsen on the campaign trail:

On his political message: "That's the thing, I don't know. I have no idea. Stop asking me those tough questions!"

On drug use: "I don't do dope, but once in a while I shoot up on Preparation H."

"I'm strongly opposed to Japanese whaling. I can't stand Yoko Ono! Boy, there's some wailing for you."

"I know in my heart that for centuries to come, years will pass."

On Bush and Quayle: "Tweedledee and Tweedledumber."

Tiny Tim also shared his view on some of the issues of the day, and revealed a surprising conservative outlook--

"If Mr. Bush doesn't run I'd like to see him (VP Dan Quayle) in there. I think a lot of people underestimate the wisdom he has."

On Dan Quayle's speech about "Family Values": "He's absolutely right. There's extreme liberality to permissiveness. In the expression of morality I think the Vice President should have said more of it. I think someone needs to take a stand."

On AIDS: caused by "the disobeying of God's laws and fornicating."

"If I was the President of this country I would need bodyguards all around me because, believe me, there would be a lot of changes."

There is no reliable record of how many write-in votes the Paulsen/Tiny Tim ticket earned. If elected, Tiny Tim would have died in the lame duck period of the first term. Paulsen, who made one last run in 1996, died in April 1997.

Election history:
1989 - Mayor of New York, NY (New Age Party) - withdrew

Other occupations: musical performer

Buried: Lakewood Cemetery (Minneapolis, Minn.)

Notes:
I knew someone who toured with Tiny Tim for a year or so when he was part of a circus in the late
 1980s. She said he was one the sweetest and kindest men she had ever met.
His father was born in Lebanon, his mother in Belarus.
Buried in the same cemetery as Orville Freeman, Hubert Humphrey, and Paul Wellstone.

Phillip John Donahue

 Above: Donahue with various past, present, future Presidents. Below, Paulsen in 1988

Phillip John Donahue, December 21, 1935 (Cleveland, Ohio) -

VP candidate for Straight Talking American Government Party (aka STAG Party aka Independent) (1988)

Running mate with nominee: Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)
Popular vote: 0 (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538

The campaign:

With a campaign slogan of "Pat Paulsen for President. He's running again?" the comedian and perennial candidate started off the season by running in the Democratic primaries. In previous elections he began his campaigns by running in the Republican primaries. In all cases he eventually ran as an independent sometimes as part of the supposed Straight Talking American Government Party (aka STAG Party). Although the entire electioneering was a publicity stunt and a political sideshow people had come to expect and enjoy, there were times when he seriously addressed some issues.

Still, it is his comedy we remember--

On why he is running: "I'm often asked why am I traveling around the country talking politics. Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is for for the money, the limousines, and the girls? The answers are no, no, yes, yes, yes. Why should I be any different?"

On entering the Iowa caucus as a Democrat: "I want to do it. I want to come into Iowa. I think the other Democrats here will be every bit as funny as I am."

On dealing with the deficit: "I'll turn it into a government program and then eliminate the program."

On leadership: "I figure I can be a leader if I can find a group of desperately lost people."

On the Strategic Defense Initiative, aka "Star Wars": "I don't care what Johnny (Carson) or Joan (Rivers) are doing."

On the future: "I think I can say without qualification that the future lies ahead."

On the GNP: "I feel privileged to live in a land where even the national product is gross."

On whether or not he had Secret Service protection: "That's a secret."

Although he said he had no VP when he originally announced his 1988 run, there was a quip he frequently made later in the campaign: "Pat Robertson may run, and he has God as his running mate. I'm pretty close; I've got Phil Donahue." That isn't much to go on, but I'm going to use it.

Televangelist Robertson was running in the Republican primaries that year. Phil Donahue was, at the time, one of the pioneers in hosting daytime TV shows asking tough confrontational questions about controversial issues. Paulsen's joke was playing off the public perception of liberal morality exhibited by Donahue. Donahue's show blazed a trail and created an entire genre that would inspire many others to follow, not the least of which would be Oprah Winfrey who by 1988 had already been in the air for a couple years.

If Donahue had a response to Paulsen's assigning him the role of running mate I have yet to find it.

Election history: none

Other occupations: radio and television interviewer, syndicated talk show host,

Notes:
Erma Bombeck lived across the street during his childhood.
Has 20 Emmy Awards.
Married to Marlo Thomas.
Endorsed the Ralph Nader Green Party campaign in 2000.

Harold Edward Stassen

Harold Edward Stassen, April 13, 1907 (West St. Paul, Minn.) – March 4, 2001 (Bloomington, Minn.)

VP candidate for Straight Talking American Government Party (aka STAG Party)  (1976)

Running mate with nominee: Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)
Popular vote: ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538

The campaign:

Comedian Pat Paulsen's shtick was to deliver wickedly funny lines while maintaining a deadpan Sad Sack sort of expression. Before going into his political career I want to point out to my fellow Washington State trivia buffs that Paulsen was born and raised in South Bend, in Pacific County which is next to door to Grays Harbor County where I currently live. Members of my father's family were very active in the moonshine/bootlegging business during Paulsen's early years in the rough and tumble Raymond/South Bend area and it is possible Paulsen's father was acquainted with some of my relatives.

As one of the players on television's Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, which was considered a dangerously political program at the time, Paulsen launched his first bid for President in the 1968 election as the leader of the Straight Talking American Government Party also called the S.T.A.G. Party. The joke became very popular and Paulsen ran in most of the Presidential elections since that time until his death in 1997. In some cases he ran in the Presidential primaries of both major parties and outpolled some serious candidates.

Here's a Paulsen political sampler over the years:

We cannot stand Pat!

United we sit!

We can be decisive, probably.

If elected, I will win.

[His thoughts on considering the first campaign] Why not? I can't dance. Besides, the job has a good pension plan and I'll get a lot of money when I retire.

Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.--1972

A good many people today feel our present draft laws are unjust. These people are called soldiers. In one of the arguments against the draft, we hear it is unfair, immoral, discourages young men from studying, ruins their careers and their lives. Picky, picky, picky! We propose a draft lottery, in which the names of all eligible males will be put into a hat, and the men will be drafted according to their hat sizes. The tiny heads will go into the military service, and the fat heads will go into government.--1968

I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself … and of course the boogieman.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can only make a monkey out of the voters every four years!

In America, any boy can grow up to become president. Or, if he never grows up, vice president.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

As I've always said: The future lies ahead.

In 1976 Paulsen denied he was running for President for the third time, and then launched a full-fledged national "Denial Campaign." When asked if he was really running for President he answered, "Yes and no."

His comments on his non-opponents in his non-campaign:

We have a choice between two very energetic forceful, dynamic, decision-making leaders-- Lester Maddox and Eugene McCarthy.

Jimmy Carter is a man who grew from humble beginnings to become one of Georgia's leading peanut farmers. Just what we need-- another nut in the White House. Carter wants to clamp down on the CIA and the FBI. I don't know why. The closest they've come to taking over a government is ours. They say Carter doesn't know anything about foreign affairs. I say at least he's lusted after them in his heart.

I think Ford is dynamic, speaks clearly on the issues and is not afraid to take a stand. Of course, I'm talking about Betty. I don't blame President Ford for our troubles. He hasn't done anything.

In 1968 and 1972 he had been coy about who he would select as a running mate. But in late June 1976 Paulsen let it be known he wanted Harold Stassen as his VP. Of course, Paulsen continued to deny he was running as he said this. Wink. Wink.

By 1976 the very name Harold Stassen had a comedic effect. He was a punch line, as Paulsen intended it to be. Once a Boy Wonder liberal Republican and a serious contender for the 1948 Presidential nomination of that party, Stassen had become known as America's most famous perennial candidate. After his terms as Governor of Minnesota 1939-1943 he attempted the Republican nomination for President nine times between 1944-1992. He also failed to be elected Governor of Pennsylvania twice, Mayor of Philadelphia, the US Senate twice, the US House, and Governor of Minnesota again.

In spite of his efforts, Paulsen probably did rack up a number of write-in votes in 1976. Some writers were starting to call him the Harold Stassen of comedians.

Paulsen would be back after 1976, and so would Stassen. In 1992 Paulsen outpolled Stassen in the Republican primaries for US President.

Other occupations: soldier (US Navy WWII), attorney, President of the University of Pennsylvania 1948-1953, Director of the Mutual Security Agency 1953, Director of the US Foreign Operations Administration 1953-1955 

Election history:
1931-1939 - District Attorney of Dakota County (Minn.) (Republican)
1939-1943 - Governor of Minnesota (Republican)
1944 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1948 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1952 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1958 - Republican nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania - primary - defeated
1959 - Mayor of Philadelphia, Penn. (Republican) - defeated
1964 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1966 - Republican nomination for Governor of Pennsylvania - defeated
1968 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1978 - Republican nomination for US Senate (Minn.) - defeated
1980 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1982 - Republican nomination for Governor of Minnesota - defeated
1984 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1986 - US House of Representatives (Minn.) (Republican) - defeated
1988 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1992 - Republican nomination for US President - defeated
1994 - Republican nomination for US Senate (Minn.) - defeated

Buried: Acacia Park Cemetery (Mendota Heights, Minn.)

Notes:
Youngest person ever elected Minnesota Governor.
Participated in the first recorded Presidential primary debate with Thomas Dewey in 1948
Led the "Dump Nixon" for VP effort in 1956.
Baptist.
Considered a liberal Republican for the most part.
Noted later in life for his ill-fitting toupée.