Darth Vader

 

Darth Vader, May 25, 1977- May 25, 1983 (Los Angeles, Calif.)

VP candidate for Independent (aka Grand Old Empire Party aka Concerned Citizens Party) (1984, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (1984, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024): Darth Sidious (aka Sheev Palpatine aka the Emperor) (1977-1983)
Popular vote (1984, 2012, 2016, 2020): 0 (0.00%)
Electoral vote (1984, 2012, 2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (1984, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024):

Sith Emperor Palpatine, address: 1 Empire Way, Death Star II, AS 99999, filed with the FEC for President on Mar. 19, 2016 as a member of the Concerned Citizens Party of Connecticut, a far-Right party that really exists.

It was yet another decentralized Star Wars spinoff campaign into electoral politics. The evil Palpatine was frequently touted, off and on since 1984, as a Presidential contender with Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker) as his running-mate. A sampling of their campaigning from a few sources--

Nov. 6, 2012
We will end unemployment. How will we do it? Do you have any idea how many people it takes to operate a Death Star?
And our foreign policy can be summed up in two words - Death Star !

April 12, 2015
Palpatine for President
The Palpatine and Vader combo have joined the candidates running for President of The United States of America.  Senator Palpatine said his first action as president would be to employ every unemployed citizen and work on rebuilding the Death Star.  Senator Palpatine also would like to see a new world order for a safer and more secure society.

July 14, 2016
It's time for real change...by Force if necessary. "You will vote for us!"

Nov. 17, 2016
We are disappointed in your lack of faith in the Sith and Dark Side of the Force.  We will continue to make our presence known.  Vote Palpatine-Vader 2020 and we promise to create millions of jobs with our first action to turn Earth's moon into the Death Star!

June 17, 2017
"People are comparing Trump to me...I find that incredibly insulting...I'm not nearly that evil and incompetent!" - Lord Vader

Vader himself was a frequent Presidential candidate. One of the more noteworthy efforts was a Vader/Skywalker Sith Party ticket presented in 2000.

Election history:
1980 - US President (Independent) - defeated
1988 - US President (Independent) - defeated
2000 - US President (Sith Party) - defeated
2008 - US President (Independent) - defeated
2012 - US President (Independent) - defeated
2016 - US President (Independent) - defeated
2020 - US President (Independent) - defeated
2024 - US President (Independent) - pending

Other occupations: fictitious character

Notes:
I managed to avoid all of the original Star Wars trilogy movies until the 1980s and that was enough for me. For the purposes of this blog I'll attempt to pretend the remainder of the franchise does not exist.

Walter Sobchak

 

Walter Sobchak, January 18, 1998 (Los Angeles, Calif.) -

VP candidate for Independent (2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (2016, 2020, 2024): Jeffrey Lebowski (b. 1998)
Popular vote (2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2016, 2020):

Although there had been some embryonic efforts to run the fictional character of Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski of the movie The Big Lebowski (1998) for President prior to 2016, it seems the Clinton-Trump choice energized the political side of the fan base of the character brought to life by the actor Jeff Bridges. It also created an large wave of campaign merchandising.

One element of the movie is the "buddy film" subplot concerning Lebowski's relationship with the volatile Walter Sobchak, brilliantly portrayed by the actor John Goodman. Of course, there would no other choice for running-mate. Walter really ties the whole campaign together.

Jeff Lebowski himself, a slacker gone to seed who enjoys smoking the wacky and drinking White Russians, was on the same bowling team as Walter. Sobchak was a Polish Catholic who converted to Judaism on account of his now divorced wife. A Vietnam vet with PTSD, he owned a security business and had a knack for screwing up everything he touched.

As for a platform, fans merely had to quote lines from the filmscript--

Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! F**k me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak: Shut the f**k up, Donny. [Generally used in the 2016-2020 campaigns regarding Trump]

The Stranger: [to the camera] The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners.

The Dude: It's all a god damn fake, man. It's like Lenin said: you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know, you'll uh, uh - well, you know what I'm trying' to say...

The Dude: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a s**t about the rules? Mark it zero!

The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per... look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new s**t, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?
The Big Lebowski: What in God's holy name are you blathering about?
The Dude: I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New s**t has come to light! And s**t... man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?

The Dude: Just take it easy man.
Walter Sobchak: I'm perfectly calm Dude.
The Dude: [shouting] Yeah, waving the f**king gun around?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.

Walter Sobchak: Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

The Dude: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.

The Dude: Ah, f**k it.
The Big Lebowski: F**k it! Yes! That's your answer. That's your answer for everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!

The Big Lebowski: Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Lebowski?
[the Dude walks out and shuts the door]
The Big Lebowski: The bums will always lose!

[Washington State trivia alert!!!]
The Dude: Did you ever hear of "The Seattle Seven"?
Maude Lebowski: Mmm.
The Dude: That was me... and six other guys.

The Dude: You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped and you were f**king glad, man. You could use it as an excuse to make some money disappear. All you needed was a sap to pin it on. You'd just met me, you... you human paraquat! You thought, oh, here's a loser, you know, a deadbeat, someone the square community won't give a s**t about...
The Big Lebowski: Well? Aren't you?
The Dude: [beat] Well, yeah, but...

The Dude: The Dude abides.

In addition to being the center of a faux political movement, The Dude is also the central figure of a religion (some critics would say a mock religion, but that's just their opinion, man) called Dudeism.

Election history: none

Other occupations: fictional character

Notes:
A hard call given so many excellent choices, but I'd have to say on most days The Big Lebowski is my favorite Coen Bros. film.

William Thomas Riker

 

William Thomas Riker, September 28, 1987 (Hollywood, Calif.) -

VP candidate for Independent (1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024): Jean-Luc Picard (b. 1987)
Popular vote (1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024):

Star Trek: The Next Generation, a 1987-1994 spinoff from the original Star Trek television series from the 1960s, defined their purpose as, "Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before."

The Trek franchise is huge and it seems only naturally American for the lead characters to be, in this age where entertainment and politics are so intermingled, merchandised as Presidential timber. Heck, when the show first aired the President at the time was a former movie and TV actor.

The Enterprise skipper, Jean-Luc Picard (portrayed by Patrick Stewart) and his first officer Will Riker (Jonathan Frakes) have been marketed as a Presidential ticket in every election since 1992. They probably ran in 1988 as well but I didn't find a confirmation of that. Bumper stickers, t-shirts, buttons, coffee mugs, etc. abound every four years with a "Picard/Riker" declaration.

"Jean-Luc Picard" filed with the FEC on Aug. 20, 2015 with no party affiliation. His address was given as 877 Enterprise St., Buchanan, MI 49107 and the campaign committee was United Federation of Planets, 150 Galaxy Rd., Shirley, AR 72153.

The Next Generation not only explored space, but the writers broached a number of political and social subjects that were fairly progressive at the time. Intelligence, reason, tolerance, curiosity, and humanity were seen as virtues. The assumption was that not only would we survive ourselves, but a far better, almost utopian age awaited us.

In the event of their electoral victory there would be several problems. They are fictitious characters. They live in the future (Picard was born in the year 2305). Although Riker was born in Alaska, Picard is from France. They reside in outer space. The characters were created in 1987, which made them below the age of 35 but in 2024 they will be legal in this regard. And so forth.

Election history: none

Other occupations: fictional character

Notes:
Riker is a contender for holding the record for number of times someone has made a Vice-Presidential run.

Donkey

 

Donkey, 1990 (Kent, Conn.) -   

VP candidate for Independent (aka Shrek-tacular Party) (2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (2016, 2020, 2024): Shrek (b. 1990)
Popular vote (2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2016, 2020, 2024):

Shrek was a character in a 1990 book by cartoonist William Steig (1907-2003) that grew into a huge animated franchise starting with the 2001 feature film. The ogre Shrek was voiced by Mike Myers and his companion Donkey by Eddie Murphy.

Shrek joined the legion of commercial fictitious characters who were Presidential candidates either through the efforts of devoted fans and/or run as a marketing gimmick. His running-mate was, of course, Donkey.

DreamWorks launched a satirical Presidential campaign in 2016 where the Shrek/Donkey ticket ran for the top spot in the land of Far Far Away. In that universe Shrek won the election but in subsequent elections he appeared to be electioneering in the real world in what appeared to be a fan-driven campaign.

One could easily assume that with an animal VP that also serves as the symbol of the Democratic Party, Shrek would lean to the Left. But his political stance has actually been the subject of surprisingly serious and widespread discussion. Is he Marxist, libertarian, populist? I have not really followed this character enough to come to my own conclusion.

Steig was a huge influence on my own cartooning. I published a book in 1977 and dedicated it to him. He sent me an encouraging letter of thanks. Then he lifted a story-telling device of my invention and employed it in one of his subsequent books which I found to be both flattering and disappointing.

Election history: none

Other occupations: fictitious character

Notes:
Steig moved to Boston in 1992, "We're living in Boston because we can't run fast enough to live in New York anymore."

Beer

 

Beer, ca11,050 BC (Natufian Levant) -

VP candidate for Independent (2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee: Pizza (b. 997)
Popular vote (2016): ? (0.00%)
Popular vote (2020): ? (0.00%)
Popular vote (2024): pending
Electoral vote (2016, 2020): 0/538
Electoral vote (2024): pending

The campaign (2016, 2020, 2024):

Pizza and Beer ran as a ticket in 2016 and 2020, and have already started for 2024. One of the political advantages of Pizza is that given the wide variety of different ethnic ingredients it can accommodate, it can truly have a wider range of multiculturalism than other foods. One of the political pitfalls is that it is, after all, a nonsentient food item.

The selection of which Beer to use the running-mate can be problematic although it goes without saying it would have to be an American-produced  brand and some people are very loyal and opinionated about their brew of choice. Beer also runs into the same Constitutional problem as Pizza, e.g. being something designed to be ingested.

And here is my beer opinion. I voted for Jimmy Carter in 1976 but have to say his brother's Billy Beer was easily the very worst brewski I ever drank aside from some of my own home brewing concoctions in the late 1980s.

Election history: none

Other occupations: beverage

Notes:
Make my pizza Canadian bacon and pineapple.

American People

 

American People

VP candidate for Independent (2012, 2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (2012, 2016, 2020, 2024): Nicholas Pierotti
Popular vote (2012, 2016, 2020): 0 (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2012, 2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2012, 2016, 2020, 2024):

Nicholas Pierotti has been running for US President since 2012 as an Independent using social media as his chief method of communication. He is a technical writer, poet, musician, and the founder of the Society for the Abandonment of Subjectivity and Objectivity and appears to change his place of residence every few years.

It would be accurate to describe his political stance as Left wing populist. He has said his running-mate is "the American People," and you can't get more populist than that. A Facebook post from his first campaign set the tone his subsequent runs as well--

The mainstream media is ignoring me, because I don't have the money machine behind me that Mitt Romney or Barack Obama have, but here's my two cents again. I am not rich. I am not owned by the corporations or by the political machine. I am of the working folk, like you. Not a Wall Street mouthpiece robed in false promises of populism. Not an Ivy League-educated lawyer with a web of powerful and dangerous connections.
I am not a lawyer, but I have been reading the Law now for years... like another man you may have heard of... his name was Abraham Lincoln.

I am tired of our current President and our current Congress tearing down our world. Every four years a new President come into office, and every four years, all the President does is work for the rich and for the war machine. And they continue to destroy and despoil our planet.
There comes a time in the life of any man when he can no longer stand the cant of hypocrisy, or stand by the door while the legions of robbers trample down the fair fields, and pillage and destroy all that has ever been dear to him, and trample down and defile the temples of beauty and honesty and Truth. It is in times like these that he must stand up alone, and make restoration to the People for what has been stolen from their Land.

I am not about Hope. I am about Deliverance.

We can't have Change when we have no change.

You are being told by Republicans, right-wing Democrats, and Tea Party defeatists that Government is broken. Government is NOT broken. It’s just been hijacked. It’s the bought-and-paid-for puppets of Wall Street in the Congress and in the White House that are robbing our future to fill their bank accounts. And it’s the two-party system that’s broken.

My name is Nicholas Pierotti. I am running for President as an independent candidate who works FOR the People, unlike the bought-and-paid-for Republicans and Democrats, who answer only to Wall Street and the rich. Together we will break the gridlock in Congress.
And that is why I am encouraging YOU, the Working People, to run for Congress, to run WITH me.

I want to fill the Congress with factory workers and Wall Street occupiers, line cooks and laborers, schoolteachers and homemakers; people who carry a lunch box to work and who pack that lunch box so that a worker can eat while they slave for Obama and Wall Street; folks who work two jobs to make ends meet. People like YOU and ME, who know what it is to live paycheck to paycheck, or with no paycheck at all.

And this from his 2016 campaign--

I do not belong to a party.
I am a free man.

Once you name a party, a party forms, a cadre surrounds you, and politics emerge. I am not about politics; I am about clearing the decks so that the voice of the people can be heard again.

After 2 years of my Presidency, the American people will have heard my message of radical involvement by the people for the people, interdependent governing, and how the party system, which degenerates into corporate puppetry, is against the best interests of the working people and against the freedom and human rights and environment of the Planet.

I will employ the office of the Presidency to speak to the American People, and tell them of my vision of a government of independent people, a Congress of independent individuals, unaffiliated with any established and therefore corrupt political parties.

Encouraged by my example, folks like me will run in droves for the Congress, spreading their message by the same grassroots methods I have employed, outside the system of Superpacs and corporate influence cloaked in populist rhetoric and false patriotism.

The new Congress that will be elected two years after my election will no longer be controlled by the two entrenched Republican and Democratic parties, and effective change by and for the People will finally be achievable, by a Congress and a President who are not owned by corporate lobbyists, rich criminals in smoke-filled rooms, and the war machine.

The grossly over-inflated Defense budget will finally be redirected into rebuilding our infrastructure and our economy; people will be fed and employed in and through their communities with community gardens and infrastructure projects that empower the citizenry.

And the dinosaur reptile-brain leadership of the Clintons and the Obamas and the Bushes, the Republicans and the Democrats, will become a thing of the past, and the country will be wholly re-empowered by a government by the People and for the People.

The whole point of my running as a complete independent, affiliated with NO existing party, is that it assures my complete liberty and independence from the lobbyists that rule EVERY established political party.

I welcome you at the dawning
of a new day.

As far as I can ascertain, Pierotti has never appeared on any ballot or was registered as a write-in in any state during the 2012-2020 election years.

Election history: varied

Other occupations: everything and anything

Notes:
Pierotti is already in the race for 2024.

Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker, May 25, 1977 (19 BBY) (Los Angeles, Calif.) -

VP candidate for Sith Party (2000)
VP candidate for Independent (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024)

Running mate with nominee (2000): Darth Vader (Anakin Skywalker) (1977-1983 ; 41.9 BBY- 4 ABY)
Running mate with nominee (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024): Obi-Wan Kenobi (1977 ; 57 BBY - 0 BBY)
Popular vote (2000, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2000, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020): 0/538

The campaign (2000):

By 2000 Internet had become a commonplace household utility and the number of offbeat Presidential candidates had a huge spike thanks to free online publicity. The Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker team was not (spoiler ahead for the dozen or so of you who have never seen Star Wars) the first father-son ticket, but easily it was the most dysfunctional family Prez/VP team of this subset. Vader's whole pitch was that he would make order out of chaos, perhaps like Mussolini making the trains run on time. It did not appear the Vader website was officially sanctioned by the merchandisers of the Star Wars franchise.

There were four major obstacles for this ticket. First, they were not born US citizens. Second, having been introduced and "born" in 1977, they were both under the age of 35 as required by the Constitution. Third, by 2000 the Vader character had been dead for 17 years. And fourth, I can't believe I have to say this but in these days we live in I'm afraid I have to, they are fictitious characters.

The campaign (2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024):

The fantasy ticket of Obi-Wan Kenobi ("Our Only Hope") and Skywalker became a widespread merchandising activity dating back at least to 2008. Alec Guinness, the actor who portrayed Obi-Wan, had died in 2000.

Election history: none

Other occupations: Jedi knight

Notes:
Mark Hamill, the actor who portrayed Luke Skywalker, is active with the Democratic Party.
One wonders how the Skywalker surname came into being.