Steven Jacobson
VP candidate for Dance Party (aka Yes Party) (2016)
Running mate with nominee: Michael Frederick Ingbar
Popular vote: 8 (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538
The campaign:
NYC art gallery owner Michael Ingbar issued the following press release on Aug. 2, 2016--
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Millicent Hathaway
August 2, 2016
(212) 334-1100
info@michaelingbargallery.com
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Gallery Show to Support Presidential Candidate
A Final Show for the Michael Ingbar Gallery
Opening September 8, 2016
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Facing rising rents, the internationally renowned Michael Ingbar Gallery is being forced to close its doors after 30 years in business. However, rather than retire,owner and native New Yorker Michael Ingbar is trading in canvas for canvassing and running for President of the United States.
Michael is not affiliated with any political party and is registered as a write-in candidate in the State of New York. "I'm looking to form a new political party. I'm still debating between calling it the 'Yes, Party!' or the 'Dance Party'."
The official start of Michael's campaign will coincide with his gallery's final opening for, "The Michael Ingbar Gallery Final Show". The show will consist of Michael's private collection of New York City images and other artworks amassed over his 40-year career as an art dealer and 30 as a gallery owner, in total worth more than $400,000. Artists featured will include Richard Haas, Daniel Hauben, Lawrence Kelsey, and other noted artists. "This final show will close one chapter of my career as I begin a new one in politics. More importantly, I don't think I'll have room to hang everything in the White House."
Guests at the opening will be an exclusive audience to Michael's first official speech as a candidate, in which he'll lay out his entire Presidential platform, including his plan for his first thirty days in office. "My first executive order,made within thirty days of taking office, will be to change the flag of the United States. Back in 1968, after my Honorable Discharge from the U.S. Army, I created the Peace Sign American flag in protest of the Vietnam War. As my first executive order, made within thirty days of taking office, I will change the flag again, this time officially. First, we'll replace the stars - far too sharp and aggressive - with oranges. Fifty plump oranges will be surrounded by five smaller oranges, symbolizing the states and giving representation to the five permanently inhabited and under-represented territories of the United States (Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, and American Samoa). A single rotten orange will sit dead center to represent, of course, Washington D.C.
I will also change the colors of the stripes. As used in our flag, the color red represents blood that's been shed in our many wars, while white is a symbol of racism. We will replace the blood red with orange, a color named after a fruit as American as apple pie! The white will be replaced with a spectrum of skin-tones to represent the plurality of ethnicities in our country."
Note: This will be a completely self-funded campaign, so donations are not welcome, but you can show your support by buying some artwork and with only 30 days left after the opening for raising funds, the website is now live for purchasing before the actual show opening in NYC.
Reception for the Candidate and Gallery on Thursday, September 8, 2016 will be from 5 to 9 PM. There will be wine and other refreshments served, including, of course,orange juice!
RSVP to info@michaelingbargallery.com
See www.michaelingbargallery.com to preview some of the works, many which are discounted.
Ingbar's Aug. 11, 2016 Facebook posting indicated he had settled on the Dance Party as the official name of his political group. He had also cooked up a slogan, padded out his platform a bit more, and solicited names for a running-mate--
I WILL MAKE AMERICA DANCE AGAIN!
Some non-dancer friends of mine asked me why my campaign slogan is "I will make America dance again".
I intend to end the international manufacture, sales and use of all weapons, and a part of this is, of course, how will countries settle their differences? With fists and feet and sticks and stones? Silly don't you think? No way, I say!
I intend to have dance competitions to replace war! So much more fun, don't you think? I will have Congress pass a bill that would require that in order to graduate High School, one must be very proficient in any dance form, which can be any of the partner "street dances" such as Tango, Swing, Salsa, Meringue, etc., or even ballroom dance. Acceptable of course are Ballet, Hip-hop, or any other possible solo dance. Not sure about line dances though....
So help me find a running candidate, one who is so proficient and well known, that they can help us win any war!!
Suggest or nominate a VP dancer candidate.
Please share and invite your friends!
Indeed, Ingbar held a couple dance events as his form of campaign rally. His platform included--
How Michael will solve every problem you have!
BIG GROUP PROBLEMS
1. How he will deal with the overcrowded and out-of-repair bridges, the unemployed and homeless, the major housing shortage and trash in New York City and other large cities: A simple solution anyone can figure out given the above parameters. For example, NYC can easily do the following:
First, fill in the East River with all the excess trash that we’re paying to have hauled out of state.
Then, hire and train the homeless to build low-cost housing on the “Trash River,” and to build roadways there so traffic won’t have to use the bridges.
Then finance the whole project by selling condos to the ultra wealthy that will be built on the now unused bridges.
2. How he will deal with food shortages, rats, and lack of work for the homeless:
Sell GMO-Free, Gluten-Free, Homeless-Caught, Wild Rats at green markets. This will help control the rat population, alleviate food shortages, and provide the homeless with a useful source of income. The homeless could also be put in charge of the advertising campaign.
"Rat, the Other White Meat." "Rat, It's What's For Dinner." "Rat, I'm Lovin' It!"
How he will deal with really controversial problems
and how to make everyone happy!!
TAXES
Divide the country into two areas, those that want to pay taxes and those that don’t… see who wins.
GUN CONTROL
Divide the cities into two areas, one for those who don’t want guns and one for those who do...
Mexico-US Wall
Many people are in favor of building a wall between Mexico and the US. But who is going to pay for construction?
Instead of a wall, we will build a series of handball courts. The border will be the site of an annual International Handball Championship. Corporations will be invited to pay to have a court named after them and to have advertising on the walls; and we will hold annual auctions for TV networks to have exclusive coverage rights. Michael is a great advocate of Handball Diplomacy.
Bathroom rights
#1 - People should be able to pee wherever they like, as long as it's not on the floor.
#2 - See #1, and especially not on the floor.
terrorism
Send them all to North Korea.
INDIVIDUAL PROBLEMS
He will make sure there are laws in place such as the ones below to enable each citizen to have enough sleep and privacy.
Anyone named Sean who lives next door to you will not be permitted to play trumpet any time you’re home.
Anyone who leaves a car alarm on when nobody is stealing anything will have their front seat confiscated. They will be made to drive standing up!
All Taxis will have a horn placed over the driver's head that is as loud inside as the one on the outside of the vehicle. This will also apply to any non-taxi drivers who get more than one violation of using their horns too much.
DIETS
We’re a country full of fat people. This costs the average person lots of anguish in either tax money, diets, or dealing with everyone else’s dieting. I’ve never been fat or overweight. How do I do it?
Here is one simple diet for people who want to lose weight:
THE DELICATESSINARIAN DIET:
HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT BY TRICKING THE BODY
by Michael Ingbar ©1994
I’ve been skinny all my life. In fact, people often comment about how I continue to eat such massive amounts of food and still look so scrawny. So, I decided to write down my secrets for all my friends.
The secret about the difference between slender and overweight people is that the fat ones are so concerned about what they are eating, that the body really notices the food going in. In fact, they sometimes notice it so much, they gain two or three times the weight of the food they eat.
Skinny people on the other hand, really don’t care about weight so the body hardly notices the food they eat. In fact, really skinny people have to usually eat up to three times as much as fat people just to maintain the weight they have.
The secrets therefore to losing weight are:
Eat fast so the body won’t notice. Don’t chew the food, just swallow it. The less you taste of it, the less you’ll gain. Get the concept that each chomp equals five ounces of weight.
Eat in the dark or blindfolded. Sometimes this works.
Eat foods you really like in places or with people you despise. This prevents proper digestion.
Eat foods you hate, or foods that are poorly prepared, or are rancid. Leftovers that are more than three months old are particularly efficacious.
Get the attitude that eating is a real pain in the butt, that you don’t have the time to eat, and that the foods that are simplest to prepare and simplest to chow down on are the best foods to eat. Worry that you’ll not be able to get all your work done because you have to stop to eat.
Wear clothes that make you look fatter than you really are. This way, the body won’t think it’s trying to lose weight. Remember, whatever you do to the body, the body does exactly the opposite.
Experiment a bit. Sometimes a combination of 1-6 above works.
Beat That OPPRESSIVE NYC Summer Heat
My idea is to simply make this great city a cooler place to be in during the very hot summer months. And it is very simple. The idea is based on the fact that the city is always eight to ten degrees hotter than the surrounding areas. Meteorologists explain this as a symptom of “urban furnacing,” which is simply all the bodies, asphalt, buildings, and air conditioning spewing forth heat during the hottest months of the year. More simply demonstrated, a trip to the subway platform will show the platform ten degrees hotter than the outside air due to the heat being generated by the air-conditioned subway cars, which are sometimes cooler than comfort.
All we need to do is reverse all the air conditioners in the city. Every home, apartment, office building, truck, cab, car, and bus. If we do this, the temperature would lower about 18 degrees.
Here’s how: As shown above, the city is an average of nine degrees hotter than the surrounding areas. Just by turning off all the air conditioners, a 90-degree day will become an 81-degree day. But by reversing the air conditioners, we would again have the air cooled an average of nine degrees, making it a very comfortable 72 degrees! New York City would be the first air conditioned city in the world!!! We’d finally be able to open our windows during heat waves!!
I have been in touch with major plastic molding companies here in the City that would be able to make “A/C Reversing Scoops, or ACRS” (their name, not mine), which would enable one to open their window just five inches and let the cool air out. Think of the coolness we’ll get from reversed subway air conditioners alone! These “ACRS’s” would sell for only $4.99 and could possibly be subsidized by the city, as it will benefit the tourist industry here, and raise more taxes! Big office buildings, busses, cars, and taxis would just open their windows.
Of course this whole plan seems a bit ridiculous at first, with the amount of space we would have to air condition, but remember that hot air rises, and cool air stays down.
Why should all those with current air-conditioning pay the electric bill for all those who don’t or never had air conditioning… well, as one apartment dweller here in Soho said when asked about the idea, “We’ve heated the city for so long and made so many suffer, now it’s pay-back time.” The poor people would benefit most as they never had air conditioning and would just have to open their windows to benefit like all the rest of us. Many people ask the question, “Where will all the hot air go?” And that is answered with the simple thought of how cold it gets here in winter…. We have the hot air!!!
CLOTHING THE Homeless/ CUTTING EDGE Fashion:
A Solution TO THE RICH/POOR DIVIDE
The economic divide in New York City is more apparent in Soho than any other neighborhood. High-end shoppers have to practically step over the homeless to get into their fancy boutiques. The irony is, of course, that these shoppers are spending thousands of dollars to dress in practically the same torn up jeans and sweaters worn by the homeless they ignore. My suggestion is to leverage that market demand into jobs to improve both our economy and homeless situation.
First, from a store front in Soho, we will provide all the homeless in the city with brand new, American made clothing, particularly denim jeans. This can be paid by a fractional portion of the current sales tax. Next, the homeless individuals will continue their lives as usual, while their new clothing becomes torn and stained from life on the street. Once the clothing is sufficiently damaged, the individuals will return to the store front where they will be photographed in the clothing. The photo will be signed and, in return, they will receive a new set of clothing. From there, the worn clothing will be cleaned, and the signed photo will be attached along with a substantial price tag befitting such an artisanal hand-worn American-made product. Once an item has sold, the homeless individual can pick up, at their leisure, a handsome commission equal to 50% of the final retail price.
Through HWJ (Homeless Worn Jeans), we will harness the power of the free market to clothe the homeless, create jobs here in New York City selling American made products, and provide expensive clothing with that exquisite touch of poverty all you rich bastards love.
Right now, if you want to purchase a pair of distressed jeans, your only option is to buy something factory produced by an emaciated Malaysian child slave. Under my plan, not only would those jobs come back to America, they would also help improve the lives of those most in need. This is a plan focused on Americans, but with a global context.
If we’re going to Make America Dance Again,
we must first Give America Pants Again.
Otherwise WE’re just swinging in the breeze.
On Sept. 30 he announced his VP choice, who turned out to be among the more unusual running-mates in US history--
Imaginary friend Millicent Hathaway selected as my running mate for Vice President of the United States!!
Real Rights for Imaginary Friends
Millicent is to my knowledge the first ever imaginary friend to be a vice presidential candidate. In fact, not only is she my imaginary friend, she's been an imaginary employee since 1979. When I began my art business in San Francisco, we had many potential employees and artists asking who to contact when they came to the gallery.
Real employees changed so frequently that, rather than continuing the confusion, we created an imaginary employee named Millicent Hathaway. Our plan worked wonderfully over the phone. When they'd actually come by the office, she was, of course, never there, so we decided to put something together to represent her. One of the staff came up with the idea of hanging this mannequin's lower body from the ceiling. Soon after she wore pantyhose, a skirt, and heels.
The Ingbar/Hathaway ticket was torn asunder a month later by the New York State Board of Elections. As Ingbar explained it--
October 21, 2016
Imaginary Friend Millicent Hathaway Denied Candidacy by New York State
When it comes to unconventional candidates, the 2016 Presidential Election has certainly delivered. Candidates such as Darth Vader of Spokane, WA and Mickey Mouse of Anaheim, CA are officially registered write-in candidates in their states and a vote for them will be tallied right alongside those for Clinton and Trump. Allowing candidates such as Cookie Hydrox of Newport Coast, CA to run for federal office only highlights the injustice of the New York State Board of Elections’ decision this week to deny Millicent Hathaway’s Vice Presidential nomination. The Board justified their decision on the grounds that since Ms. Hathaway doesn’t technically exist, she can’t produce the required notarized signature. I find this treatment of such a strong, capable woman (and the best employee I’ve ever had) to be discriminatory and deeply insulting. I would challenge Paul Y Potato of Potatoville, ID or Buddy the Elf of North Pole, AK to produce half the qualifications that Millicent has to be Vice President.
This challenge to my campaign has only been with a strengthened resolve. Last Tuesday, following the news of Millicent’s rejection, I officially nominated Steven Jacobson (real human person) as my Vice President. Moving forward, our campaign will focus anew on defending the rights of disadvantaged women like Millicent who have been denied the right to vote or run for office based upon their state of actual existence.
A Steven D. Jacobson of Alta Loma, Calif. had filed for President as an Independent with the FEC for the 2016 election long before Ingbar had jumped into the race. In fact, it looks like Jacobson began his 2016 campaign before the 2012 election was over. There is not a strong documentary trail for the Jacobson effort, although he advocated the annexation of Canada and Mexico. I cannot find anything confirming Steven D. Jacobson is the same as Ingbar's VP Steven Jacobson.
When asked by Politico what he would do in his first day in office as President, Ingbar replied, "I would try to get out of being president, probably."
NOVEMBER 9, 2016 - URGENT UPDATE!!!
Please DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE ELECTION RESULT!
This was my first time running for office and I didn't have enough practice in politics to be successful. Instead, I will be running for Mayor of New York City in 2017 and will work my way back up to running for President in 2020. More updates soon!
Although Ingbar had set up a website for his 2020 campaign, it appears that all activity in this regard pretty much ceased by 2018.
Election history: none
Other occupations: ?
Notes:
Another mystery VP.
