Carrie Frances Fisher, October 21, 1956 (Burbank, Calif.) – December 27, 2016 (Los Angeles, Calif.)
VP candidate for DemoCatic Party (2016)
Running mate with nominee: Gordon Shumway (b. 1986)
Popular vote: ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538
The campaign:
ALF was a television situation comedy from 1986-1990 on NBC. Since it was a show I have never seen, I'll let the campaign website explain the rest--
ALF, whose real name is Gordon Shumway (this fact alone could make you a champion at Trivial Pursuit), was born and raised on the planet Melmac, to Flo and Bob Shumway. He arrived in Hollywood by accident when his spaceship crashed through the roof of the Tanner family's garage.
He was nicknamed ALF (Alien Life Form) by the Tanner children and actually prefers it to Gordon. Although he speaks most of Earth's languages, many of ALF's customs are unfamiliar and somewhat startling to Earthlings. For example, he has a penchant for snacking on cats and can whistle with his lips closed.
He graduated from Melmac High School where he majored in software and pedestrian crossing. ALF was active in the Skleen Club and was a co-captain of the Bouilabaseball team for three years. (Bouilabaseball is similar to Earth's baseball -only it uses fish.)
Before landing on our planet, he spent more than a dozen years as an orbit guard. Other previous occupations include Assistant Boxleitner and part-time male model. At one time he even owned and operated his own Phlegm dealership. (The Phlegm 220 was a classic sports car.)
ALF's current hobbies are Gerrymandering, audio-animatronic impressions, and eating.
A Sagittarius, ALF is 244 years old (in 2011). "I've got dandruff older than your country," he says. Although he is single, he insists he's "still looking."
A perennial popular culture candidate, ALF had developed a platform designed for the short attention span--
Complicated Government
"I finally figured out why your political system is so complicated. That's just the way your world works. If we didn't understand something, we broke it." ~ALF
Homeless
Mr. Shumway plans to have houses built for each of them (see unemployment).
Pollution
"To get rid of pollution, just tie big balloons on all the smokestacks to catch the dirty air." ~ALF
"My solution to pollution will help your consitution, so send a contribution and start the revolution. Uh-huh, uh-huh!" ~ALF
Unemployment
"If I can restore a man's dignity by climbing on his back, I say go for it!" ~ALF
There won't be any, everybody will be busy building houses (see homeless).
War
"Preventing war is easy. Just tell the people who are mad at each other to kiss and make up." ~ALF
ALF's 2016 campaign began in January of that year. The selection of Carrie Fisher as his VP was announced on Aug. 22, 2016--
ALF ANNOUNCES CARRIE FISHER AS RUNNING MATE
August 22, 2016
By Samuel Stokes, Campaign Correspondent
ALF's campaign has been struggling ever since his first two V.P. picks, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, turned down the nomination a few weeks ago. However, ALF's campaign has found new momentum as it announced that Carrie Fisher has accepted the nomination to be ALF's running mate.
Carrie Fisher is best known for her iconic role a Princess Leia from the Star Wars franchise, most recently reprising her role in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Although her on-screen character was both a member of the Imperial Senate and a General in the Rebel Alliance, Fisher herself has never been highly involved in politics, leading others to speculate as to why she so willingly accepted the nomination.
"I have great respect for ALF," says Fisher, "You don't see many TV stars his age that haven't had a lot of plastic surgery done to hide their old age. In fact, even in his heyday, he resisted the Hollywood pressure to get a nose job."
ALF is excited about the partnership and the much-needed bump it has given his polling figures.
"Before Fisher accepted the nomination," said ALF, "I wasn't even appearing on the polls. Now, I'm in single digits... I mean digit!"
With the still meager figures, many wonder if Fisher is ALF's only hope, but to this question Fisher simply replied, "No, there is another."
Fisher was no fan of Trump during the 2016 election, as some of her Twitter entries express-
Oct. 9, 2016 - Donald trump is a classless thug Trying 2 scare us in2 voting 4 him-an entitled, elitist, racist misogynist-dangerous, unkind & w/o empathy
Oct. 15, 2016 - So you have to be attractive to be groped uninvited by Trump. Finally! A reason to want to be ugly!
Nov. 6, 2016 - Trump speaking his mind isn't refreshing, it's appalling. Coca Cola is refreshing...
Unfortunately Fisher died on Dec. 27, 2016. In the event of their victory, the Vice-President elect would have been deceased after the Electoral College met but before House and Senate confirmed, so it would have been possible to fill the position with a substitute prior to Inauguration Day.
After her death her image as Princess Leia began to surface as an icon for various anti-Trump groups as wide ranging as feminist activists to one of my Ron Paul Libertarian neighbors displaying the "Resist" sticker on her car.
Election history: none
Other occupations: actor, author, novelist, playwright, speaker
Buried: Cremated. Some ashes were buried with her mother Debbie Reynolds who died a day after Carrie, in Forest Lawn Memorial Park - Hollywood Hills. Other ashes were placed in an enormous decorative Prozac pill.
Notes:
Stars Wars is OK, but for my money my favorite of all her roles was as the revenge-minded jilted bride in The Blues Brothers.
