VP candidate for Independent (aka Elder Party aka Communist Party aka Great Old One Party) (2016, 2020)
Running mate with nominee (2016, 2020): Cthulhu (b. 1928)
Popular vote (2016, 2020): ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote (2016, 2020): 0/538
The campaign (2016, 2020):
H.P. Lovecraft (1890-1937), author of supernatural horror, created a character named Cthulhu who was described as "A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind." I'm not going to go down the rabbit hole of Lovecraft esoterica, but suffice to say Cthulhu is not a nice guy.
There have been numerous attempts by a variety of sources to elect Cthulhu to the office of President or head of state, not just in the USA but in other countries, ever since at least 1996. Some of the campaign slogans to emerge from these efforts revealed a humor of despair as well as Cthulhu's character--
Vote for the Greatest Evil - Why Vote for a Lesser Evil? - Cthulhu, Because it Can't Get Any Worse - Because No Lives Matter - Don't Settle for the Lesser of Two Evils, Vote for the Greatest - The aliens you should be worried about will not be stopped by a wall - Embrace the Madness - Keep Blaming the Poor - A Thousand Points of Fright - Cthulhu Wants You... as Food - I Want You... for Breakfast - America Needs a REAL Monster - Eat the Rich and Everyone Else - After you are eaten your effective tax rate will be zero - Equality through Insanity - I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment - Keep climate changing - Legalize human sacrifice - No More Years - Vote for Cthulhu... and you'll never have to vote again - Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!
On Sept. 15, 2015 Dr. ourlordandsavior Cthulu of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. filed with the FEC as a Presidential candidate running as a member of the Communist Party.
Naturally the Cthulhu campaigns have been a merchandising bonanza.
Cthulhu had at least two running-mates: Dagon, and, Crawling Chaos.
On Aug. 20, 2016, the Cthulhu for America website introduced the Vice-Presidential nominee--
8 things you need to know about the Crawling Chaos, your next vice president
The Crawling Chaos' experience at spreading delirium and horror makes him uniquely qualified to help craft an apocalypse that works for everyone and professionally send American families to oblivion.
Meet Cthulhu’s running mate.
Cthulhu just picked the Crawling Chaos (also known as Nyarlathotep) to be his running mate!
While he has a thousand names and forms, his core issues of madness and destruction have always been consistent.
Let’s get to know him:
The Crawling Chaos is a lifelong fighter for madness and the most qualified vice presidential candidate in our nation’s history. He’s also a being of relentless ruthlessness who believes no problem is unsolvable if you’re willing to put in the work. That commitment to delivering results has stayed with him throughout his eternal career as a public servant.
Cthulhu chose a running mate who will be a real enforcer and help unite our country in insanity. The Crawling Chaos’ experience at spreading delirium and horror makes him uniquely qualified to help craft an apocalypse that works for everyone and professionally send American families to oblivion.
Here are eight things you should know about Cthulhu’s new running mate—and our next vice president:
1. Before he got into politics, the Crawling Chaos spent time working with missionaries on Klaggesh-Tlagheis.
Nyarlathotep started his public-service career by taking a century off to run an entropy vortex founded by devotees of Azathoth on Klaggesh-Tlagheis. He’s described his time on Klaggesh-Tlagheis as formative in his commitment to public service, his understanding of religion as a useful tool, and the effectiveness of spreading madness to destroy a civilization from within.
2. He is a strong fighter for religious liberty.
The Crawling Chaos spent over 30 years representing the Church of Starry Wisdom in Providence, Rhode Island. Religious discrimination against the sect was so venomous that the church was forced to disband when 181 congregants were murdered by religious extremists. He continues the fight as each new chapter of the Church of Starry Wisdom opens worldwide.
3. The Crawling Chaos champions non-traditional education.
Nyarlathotep understands that teaching the test with common core is an utter failure. Children must be engaged at an early age with exposure to the writings of Alhazred, von Junzt and Eibon. Adult education through the practical application of non-Euclidean calculus and quantum physics has also been high on his list of priorities.
4. He believes in the empowerment of women
The Crawling Chaos fought for women’s empowerment in the American colonies in the 1600s and long before that worldwide. He has consistently worked to raise women up through education in hyper-advanced STEM fields and alternative religious studies as society has sought to burn them at the stake.
5. The Crawling Chaos is a vocal advocate for mental health.
No one is more familiar with the proper methods of exposing a mortal mind to the endless stygian vistas of the universe than Nyarlathotep. He has worked tirelessly to open minds blind to the true reality of existence.
6. He believes in super-science
The Crawling Chaos has always stood by the side of the great thinkers of the cosmos spurring their inventiveness ever onward and upward. The universe is littered with the results of his inspiration and support.
7. No one understands the Middle East better
Nyarlathotep, as his name suggests, was once known as the Black Pharaoh. As a former ruler of Egypt he has direct experience with the people of the region and will be a great asset when American forces absorb the Middle East into our more prefect union.
8. The Crawling Chaos supports the arts
Some say that the blues was created by his guise as the Royal Pant – a charge he will gladly accept. Many a successful musician’s (albeit short) career was made possible by his smart, focused patronage. He looks forward to applying this practical knowledge nationwide to assist every small business owner find success.
The Crawling Chaos has spent eternity spreading madness not mediocrity, and that’s exactly the choice we face in this election.
Lovecraft described Crawling Chaos aka Nyarlathotep as one of the "Outer Gods" and a "tall, swarthy man." In a letter to a friend he added, "Don't fail to see Nyarlathotep if he comes to Providence. He is horrible—horrible beyond anything you can imagine—but wonderful. He haunts one for hours afterwards. I am still shuddering at what he showed."
As an aside, the FEC received a form dated Oct. 19, 2015 from The Crawling Chaos Nyarlathotep, address: "666 court of the outer gods, Kadath, MI" as a Communist Party candidate for President. His campaign committee was "Church of Starry Wisdom, 72 Miskatonic, Arkham, MA." So he joins that small group of VPs who were also running for President in the same election.
It would be safe to say there would have been some problems regarding the Constitution in the event of a Cthulhu/Crawling Chaos victory.
Election history:
2016 - US President (Communist Party) - defeated
Other occupations: fictitious character
Notes:
In my younger years my circle of friends included avid readers of Lovecraft, Tolkien, and Le Guin, but I was more interested in Vonnegut, Kesey, and Brautigan. Later I had the experience of attending a Vonnegut lecture and in 1987 or so actually met and conversed with Kesey in Tacoma at a library gig. But I am not very up on Lovecraft trivia so apologies to his fans for my superficial coverage.
When you type the query Crawling Chaos for President (without quotes) in Google, most of the results give you information about Trump.
