Susan Alexandra Weaver, October 8, 1949 (New York, N.Y.) -
VP candidate for DemoCatic Party (2012)
Running mate with nominee: Gordon Shumway (b. 1986)
Popular vote: ? (0.00%)
Electoral vote: 0/538
The campaign:
ALF was a television situation comedy from 1986-1990 on NBC. Since it was a show I have never seen, I'll let the campaign website explain the rest--
ALF, whose real name is Gordon Shumway (this fact alone could make you a champion at Trivial Pursuit), was born and raised on the planet Melmac, to Flo and Bob Shumway. He arrived in Hollywood by accident when his spaceship crashed through the roof of the Tanner family's garage.
He was nicknamed ALF (Alien Life Form) by the Tanner children and actually prefers it to Gordon. Although he speaks most of Earth's languages, many of ALF's customs are unfamiliar and somewhat startling to Earthlings. For example, he has a penchant for snacking on cats and can whistle with his lips closed.
He graduated from Melmac High School where he majored in software and pedestrian crossing. ALF was active in the Skleen Club and was a co-captain of the Bouilabaseball team for three years. (Bouilabaseball is similar to Earth's baseball -only it uses fish.)
Before landing on our planet, he spent more than a dozen years as an orbit guard. Other previous occupations include Assistant Boxleitner and part-time male model. At one time he even owned and operated his own Phlegm dealership. (The Phlegm 220 was a classic sports car.)
ALF's current hobbies are Gerrymandering, audio-animatronic impressions, and eating.
A Sagittarius, ALF is 244 years old (in 2011). "I've got dandruff older than your country," he says. Although he is single, he insists he's "still looking."
A perennial popular culture candidate, ALF had developed a platform designed for the short attention span--
Complicated Government
"I finally figured out why your political system is so complicated. That's just the way your world works. If we didn't understand something, we broke it." ~ALF
Homeless
Mr. Shumway plans to have houses built for each of them (see unemployment).
Pollution
"To get rid of pollution, just tie big balloons on all the smokestacks to catch the dirty air." ~ALF
"My solution to pollution will help your consitution, so send a contribution and start the revolution. Uh-huh, uh-huh!" ~ALF
Unemployment
"If I can restore a man's dignity by climbing on his back, I say go for it!" ~ALF
There won't be any, everybody will be busy building houses (see homeless).
War
"Preventing war is easy. Just tell the people who are mad at each other to kiss and make up." ~ALF
ALF's 2012 campaign began in January of that year. A website and Facebook account were set up for the electioneering. In July film star Sigourney Weaver was selected as the running-mate. Weaver had considerable onscreen experience with aliens, as well as in stories set in the White House. As the ALF campaign press release related--
ALF NAMES RUNNING MATE
July 1, 2012
By Samuel Stokes, Campaign Correspondent
In a Thursday morning press conference, DemoCatic Presidential candidate Gordon “ALF” Shumway announced his running mate for the 2012 election.
Earlier in the week, the Romney campaign facetiously announced via Twitter that, “ALF has narrowed down his choice of running mate to E.T. and Mr. Spock, LMAO!”
ALF was dismayed by the tactless comment and said, “Jokes like this are demeaning to the dignity of the office of Vice President. So without further ado, I’m pleased to announce that my running mate for the 2012 election is Sigourney Weaver.”
ALF cited Weaver’s strength of character and her key role in Earth’s defense against intergalactic invasion. Weaver was astonished and flattered by the nomination, which she enthusiastically accepted. After the conference, when Weaver was asked whether ALF realized that the Alien movies in which she starred were fictional, she replied, “I don’t know, but I’m not telling him.”
In 2012 Weaver had completed a role in the UFO comedy Paul, and at the height of the election season appeared in a USA Network miniseries entitled Political Animals where she played a character who was very much like Hillary Clinton.
Although Weaver had been a volunteer for Nelson Rockefeller in the past, she counted herself as a Democrat later. When asked in 2012 by interviewer Ron Bennington if she had ever met a sitting President, she replied, "I have. I went to the Reagan White House. I was the guest of, you know, I guess one of the little Saudi princes had just seen 'Ghostbusters' and wanted to meet Zuul. (laughs) So, I was actually not….you know being a Democrat, I at first said I was busy and then my father lectured me on if you’re invited by the President, you go ... So I went. And I did try, it was a very beautiful and glamorous night and I did actually try to speak to President Reagan about abortion rights. (laughs) And that didn’t go over very well. I was picked up and moved away from the President very quickly."
Election history: none
Other occupations: actor
Notes:
She is a niece of Doodles Weaver!
Weaver films on my VHS/DVD shelves: Eyewitness, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, Dave, Galaxy Quest, Paul. She's great in all of them.
